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Empathy is the psychological process of being able to place yourself, conceptually, in the physical or more commonly emotional situation of another human being and understanding something of what they’re going through and feeling.

Some people believe, mistakenly in part, that this is a naturally developing capability in all children. In fact, early learning childcare centres will spend time enhancing this ability in pre-schoolers.

Is empathy innate or learned?

The ability and natural inclination to empathise is assumed to be, in part, innate. It is wired into our brains at birth. However, the evidence for that has been disputed.

Babies and infants will, for example, show distress when another baby nearby is upset. Although often cited as a form of empathy, it’s also possibly little more than a relayed distress call and therefore more closely linked to the survival instinct than empathy as such.

Even the youngest of toddlers though will apparently show extraordinarily touching examples of care for others, sometimes seemingly offering a reassuring cuddle to another toddler who is upset or offering them their own toy. Again, this might simply be mimicking adult behaviours they’ve observed but overall, it is difficult to exclude the likelihood that from birth most human beings have the capacity to empathise with others.

Why education is important

Whatever the evidence for the potential or embryonic capacity for spontaneous empathy in young children, it must be viewed against certain counter-pressures that will also apply to children and adults alike.

Unfortunately, life can sometimes apply harsher survival-related imperative pressure to young children. Clearly, the child that has just dropped their sweetie and is looking sad, might be cheered-up by another child offering one of theirs. However, evolutionary pressures might predispose the second child towards keeping their sweeties (i.e. food) for themselves.

The socialisation advantages of sharing with others and empathising with their plight aren’t necessarily intuitive and also do not necessarily automatically fall out of an instinctive tendency to empathise. While a child might feel sorry for the child short of a sweetie, it isn’t immediately obvious to them why they should share theirs with them. One generous empathy-driven action might have no immediate benefit to the donating child (in fact, to the contrary) but it might have in the future if the empathy and bonding it created are reciprocated.

No early learning centre will try to explain and develop empathy in children based on the sordid concepts of advantage, loans or future payback! However, the benefits of empathy-related actions as a way of partly reducing the distress of others is an important one and not necessarily innate in children.

Why this matters

Empathy is a prime component of what is called the “Emotional Quotient” or ‘EQ’.

This is less well-known in the public domain than IQ but there is strong experimental evidence to show that in terms of life success and satisfaction, EQ is of greater predictive importance than IQ.

Do all children have natural empathy?

Some parents question if their child’s behaviour, notably an apparent absence of empathy, is indicative of more serious conditions. Unfortunately, these concerns have been exacerbated by poor and careless media reporting around conditions such as psychopathy.

To be clear, psychopathy is an adult condition. Where a child’s behaviour gives cause for concern in these areas, it is more correctly referred to as a potential case of

Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ‘ODD’. This condition is manifest in a number of behavioural symptoms, only one of which might involve an apparent absence of an ability to empathise.

This condition is not common and can only be diagnosed by qualified medical professionals. It can be treated by counselling and sometimes medication.

A child misbehaving or showing a lack of consideration for others is far more likely to simply be going through a normal, if trying, development phase that will pass.
Come and visit us

If you’d like to discover more of our methods in helping children develop their empathetic abilities, why not call us for an appointment? We’d be only too happy to go into more detail.